If you’re a person who is naturally giving, there may be times when you indiscriminately direct this giving energy. In other words, you may hear and try to respond to everyone around you who is in need. You may forget that you get to choose where you direct your energy.
I will share a personal story to explain this more clearly. When I was at a retreat in Nevada City, California, a participant arrived late because her car got stuck in the snow as it wasn’t equipped with snow tires. Other participants, including myself, went down this dark, icy, country road to see if we could push her car up the hill – to no avail. Another woman and her male partner had a truck that was also stuck on the same hill, and this woman asked for a ride to buy tire chains. Two participants immediately said yes and so she became a passenger in our car. This is a woman with whom I intuitively felt uncomfortable the first moment that I felt her energy. As it turned out, she was likely on drugs (meth would be the guess, according to one of the passengers who professionally knows about this kind of thing). We drove for a good hour looking for a gas station that sold chains. Since I am a person who is very sensitive to energy, I noticed my body get more and more tense and my emotional self retreat deep inside. What I didn’t do is ask the driver to drop me off at the inn, honoring the fact that it felt right for the others to help in the way they were helping – and it didn’t feel right for me. In other words, it was really their movie and not mine.
The next day I realized even more clearly that I really didn’t want to help the woman but did so out of guilt. And I realized that I get to decide where I direct my energy. My choice is to do this in ways that feel right to me and will make a real difference. It’s all about staying in my own movie.
That day the sun shone brightly, I went for a walk, and I noticed a big sign almost across the street from where I was staying that said, “Tire Chains for Sale”. If I would have listened to what felt right to me, they would have driven right past that store, and the woman would have gotten what she needed right away. My assumption – the woman on drugs was really an angel who came to teach a lesson.
Practice:
The next time that you have the urge to help someone, ask yourself: is this what I really want to do? Is this ‘my movie’? Notice what your body is telling you and follow your heart. Be with what it feels like to stay in your own movie and direct your energy in the ways that feel right to you instead of responding automatically and indiscriminately.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
